Ancient cannibal tribe celebrated battle victory — by eating enemies’ brains

Eating human brains might seem relegated to zombie flicks, but a new study found that European warriors did just that 18,000 years ago, per “noodle”-slurping study in the journal Scientific Reports.

The people in question, the Magdalenians, reportedly partook in this form of cranial cannibalism as a way to celebrate vanquishing their foes in battle.

It had been speculated that certain parts of prehistoric Europe were a man-eat-man world. However, the theory hadn’t been confirmed until recently, when a team of international researchers analyzed cut marks on human remains — including skulls — from Maszycka Cave, in Poland, Popular Mechanics reported.

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Over 68% of the 63 human bone fragments examined reportedly contained manipulation “related to human consumption, such as the removal of muscle bundles, brain, and marrow,” per a translated statement by the Catalan Institute of Human Paleoecology and Social Evolution.

“The location and frequency of cut marks and intentional fracturing on the skeleton is clear evidence of nutritional exploitation of the bodies, ruling out the hypothesis of funerary treatment without consumption,” said Francesc Marginedas, head and researcher at the Catalan Institute.

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These particular corpses had been “intensively manipulated” to extract all tissues and make use of “their caloric contribution,” researchers wrote. “The butchering process took place shortly after death with no period reserved for the bodies to decompose or dry.”

Perhaps most fascinating were the cranial and mandibular fragments, which “exhibited modifications related to scalping, defleshing and disarticulation,” the authors wrote.

Meanwhile, the skulls sported notches and other marks that were created when the brain was scooped out.

When it came to this prehistoric Hannibal Lectering, tribes prioritized the most nutritious parts, the findings indicate, the Daily Mail reported.

The Magdalenians may not have been seeking some piece of mind purely for gastronomic purposes, however — there might have been a ritualistic aspect to gobbling gray matter as well.

“Cannibalism is a behavior documented at various times in human evolution,” Palmira Saladie, study co-author and Catalan Institute researcher said in a statement. “In prehistoric contexts, it could respond both to survival needs and to ritual practices or even to dynamics of intergroup violence.”

In this case, authors speculated that intertribal conflict had reached its zenith due to scarce resources amid the Ice Age, meaning war cannibalism was likely at play.

This hypothesis was further supported by the fact that the remains were intermingled with animal carcasses rather than presented in a ritualistic manner, further suggesting the practice of having an old friend for dinner during lean times.

Throw in the fact that there are five known repositories in Europe from the epoch with clear evidence of cannibalism, and it’s clear that the grisly custom was integral to the regional culture at the time.