Kim Kardashian’s ‘All’s Fair’ is so bad you’ll suffer secondhand embarrassment

Reality show star. Entrepreneur. Model. Serial wife. Is there anything Kim Kardashian can’t do?

Yes, act! She stars in a new legal drama, Ryan Murphy’s “All’s Fair,” that’s racked up an amazing 0% rating from critics on Rotten Tomatoes and is being called “the worst TV drama ever.”

“All’s Fair” is awful in a way that’s mind-boggling.

Now streaming on Hulu, the show stars Kardashian, Sarah Paulson, Glenn Close, Naomi Watts, Teyana Taylor and Niecy Nash-Betts, most of whom play members of a divorce law firm.

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One of the lawyers, Emerald (Nash-Betts), says lines that sound like a tedious self-help book, like, “we stepped away from the patriarchy, and towards something of our own. Now, look at us!”

Kim plays the absurdly named Allura Grant, who gives her colleagues conversational prompts like, “Your favorite case of the last 10 years — go!”

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Every creative choice that went into “All’s Fair” is baffling. The stunt casting of Kardashian might have worked to draw eyeballs to the show’s posters. (She and her mom, Kris Jenner, are also among its exec producers). But that’s as far as it goes.

When Kardashian is on-screen, it feels like a strange joke the audience isn’t in on, watching her give mannequin-blank expressions and deliver lines like “They don’t take divorce law or women seriously!” in a robotic monotone.

Is this supposed to be feminist? Is it camp? Does it think this is a “Scandal”-esque drama? To ponder the show’s aspirations is to put more thought into it than its creators clearly did.

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Every scene feels curated to be shared as a two-minute snippet on TikTok.

Nobody behaves like a real human being. When Allura’s boyfriend, Chase (Matthew Noszka), proposes and presents her with a diamond ring, her immediate response is, “Didn’t this belong to Elizabeth Taylor?”

Huh?

Chase replies, “I know how much you love her . . . even though I don’t know who she is.” He then says “come to daddy” as they awkwardly make out.

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As the kids say: Cringe. I had to pause it and look away for a minute. It’s hard to say if I felt more embarrassed for the actors, the crew members who had to be there or myself as a viewer.

Following their initial nonsensical interaction, the next scene between Allura and Chase is an emotional breakup fight.

We’ve been given no context for their relationship in between these disjointed scenes. There’s nothing to invest in, nothing to hold on to. A nature documentary has more of a narrative than this.

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The real actors are unable to save this trainwreck.

Paulson and Close are Hollywood heavyweights. Paulson gives a melodramatic performance that feels like it belongs in a high school play, shrieking lines like “Why can’t you choose me, why?!” and “Having me as an enemy is very unwise,” as she smashes knickknacks decorating an office.

Paulson is just one of many actors with bizarre overwrought performances, as if the show is trying to balance out Kardashian’s affectless delivery by having every other cast member weep and shout their lines.

Critics are unanimous. Lucy Mangan of the Guardian wrote, “I did not know it was still possible to make television this bad.”

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the Hollywood Reporter’s TV critic Angie Han called the series “brain dead.”

Kardashian recently blamed ChatGPT for failing her bar exam, saying it always gave her wrong answers. Now she has something else to blame AI on — because I can’t believe a human actually wrote these scripts.