Are you the ‘evil twin’? The 5 most toxic traits of Gemini

Welcome to the inspiring, exhausting wind storm that is Gemini season.

The people of the twin have many merits; they’re never dull, usually well dressed, unafraid of controversy, and great with a turn of phrase or twist of a cocktail garnish. Unshockable, they never tire of shooting the proverbial s–t; entertaining a diverse range of subject matter from poetry to pornography, deep state conspiracy theories to the anthropological value of Bravo TV.

As with every archetype, Gemini has its show side and its shadow. In honor of the most dichotomous sign in the zodiac, and of the dark and the light, the sacred and the profane, the halo and the horns in us all, we bring you the most toxic Gemini traits.

Distracted

5

Ruled by Mercury, the planet named for the trouble-making, realm-roaming emissary of the gods, curiosity is the currency of Geminis who live to learn and get high on exchange and drunk on distraction. At their highest expression, Geminis are seeking connection through conversation and transcendence through the trade of ideals and ideas.

The shadow side of Gemini’s inquisitive nature is that they tend to live in a state of chase, looking for the next diversion to distract them. These people would rather be dead than bored and often cast the company they keep as entertainment, casting them aside when they inevitably fail to amuse them. Not for nothing, famed critic Roger Ebert was a Gemini.

Bad listeners

5

Gemini energy, like the planet Mercury itself, is powerful but unstable. Partially because of this, there is a fear among Geminis that if they don’t express what they are thinking immediately and emphatically, their brilliance will be lost to history.

To battle back against cerebral oblivion, Geminis tend to interrupt, talk over others, refuse to edit their stream-of-consciousness monologues, and oft impulsively take to social media platforms and group chats to share unsolicited thoughts, conspiracy theories, problematic opinions, and amphetamine-induced tirades.

For this and other reasons, Gemini tops the list of zodiac signs most likely to be canceled.

Liars

5

Geminis lie because, to them, the truth is a shifting, negotiable, nebulous cloud of possibilities and their recollection of facts and events is equal parts actual occurrence, skewed hope, and absolute hallucination.

A Gemini’s relationship with honesty is on and off and utterly dependent on the mood they are in and the agenda they are pushing. Case in point; Donald Trump, Kanye West, and Hubert-Joseph Henry are all Geminis.

Tea-spilling gossip queens and world-class trash talkers

5

Symbolized by the twins, Gemini was born to stir the pot, poke the bear, and play the role of the devil’s advocate, throwing on the robes of the controversial or the contrarian to provoke, shock, or harm.

World-class s–t talkers, Geminis make sense of the world through language and sometimes veer into the territory of lowly gossip. Ruled as they are by Mercury, the planet of language and exchange, Geminis are oxygenated by information.

Whether that information is true or false, kind or cruel, necessary or superfluous is sometimes secondary to their desire to share it.

It is physically painful and largely impossible for a Gemini to keep a secret.

However, Gemini is also the sacred domain of the storyteller, the yarn spinner, and the coyote troubadour. In this sense, they can be forgiven for their trespasses if they manage to transmute trash-talking to high art, looking at you Kendrick Lamar.

Flaky AF

5

With the possible exception of Scorpio, Gemini gets more shade and meme-based slander than any other zodiac sign. These people have a reputation for being flaky and duplicitous because they tend to be flaky and duplicitous.

Take for example famous Gemini architect Frank Lloyd Wright who defended his decision to abandon his wife for his mistress by citing an inborn need for duality, telling reporters, “Two women were necessary for a man of artistic mind—one to be the mother of his children and the other to be his mental companion, his inspiration and soul mate.”

This guy; flaky AF, a world-class bulls–t artist, certified muse chaser and a Gemini to the hilt.

But you see folks, Geminis are made of air. They are born to breeze in and out, to keep it light, and move on to the next buttercup when things get sticky or stale. You can’t lasso the wind and you can’t expect a Gemini to abide by timetables, facts, vows or obligations.

Love them for what they are, and forgive them for what they are not.

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Astrology 101: Your guide to the stars

• The 12 zodiac signs
• What are the astrology houses
• Here’s what each planet represents
• Sun, moon, and rising signs: Get to know your Big 3

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Astrologer Reda Wigle researches and irreverently reports back on planetary configurations and their effect on each zodiac sign. Her horoscopes integrate history, poetry, pop culture, and personal experience.