What does he have to say about this? Have you talked to him about how you feel?

If not, go for it.

It’s possible that you’re both looking for a path to friendship and living more separate lives.

I can also imagine him saying, “Wait, but I love you.” Truly, that might ignite the flames.

The two of you have been through some big ordeals – not just the life-threatening illness, but also major change. Retirement can be a difficult adjustment, and leaving a home? Even if it’s for the best, it’s uncomfortable.

My thought is that you both probably need more time adjusting before you know what’s what. 

But I do think you should ask, “Hey, are we just roommates here? Are we still two people who want to be romantic partners? Is this the happiest road to travel?” 

This can be a thing you figure out together, as friends (or more). Planning the rest of your life can be a romantic process – or not, and that’s clarifying, too.

Always know: decisions don’t have to last forever. You can decide, together, to take a break for now, and see how it feels to be on your own for a few months. Sometimes taking space will teach you that you’d actually like to be dating the exact person you’re married to already.

– Meredith