The people on Facebook are real … unless they’re bots, which is possible. 

Your significant other believes he’s talking to real humans, so in his mind, they are.

I can’t tell you if what he’s doing is cheating. People have different rules about what crosses the line. For some, this wouldn’t be a big deal – something like a late-night chat room that’s more about stimulation and adventure than seeking another partner in real life.

He might believe it doesn’t count as a real betrayal, but you do – so it’s cheating to you. That’s what matters.

If he doesn’t want to stop communicating with strangers, it does sound like you have to go. He’s not explaining what he’s getting out of these interactions. He’s not acknowledging that on the other side of his messages are people who might be getting their hopes up for nothing.

That’s the other piece of this. If these random accounts are humans, is your partner telling them he might care for them? How many people is he hurting, and whose time is he wasting? 

He might have great answers for all of this, but if they don’t sit right with you, that’s the end of it. 

You might also be realizing how nice it would be to have friends and family nearby. Maybe you’d like to return to them. It’s OK to go back to your community and start something new.

– Meredith

Readers? If you’re messaging with someone you never intend to meet, do you consider it cheating? If you do this on Facebook or other platforms, what do you get out of it?

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