Separate from your partner at parties when it makes sense. Join different conversations so you can engage with others. Go into another room.

My best party conversations usually happen with one other person in the corner of a kitchen. We do an intense catchup on life, work, travel, family, etc. Then we reemerge and spend time in the larger group. I can be quiet in that group (if I want) because I’ve already experienced connection.

Another thing: when you’re in a big group, see how others jump in. Follow their leads. A thing I’ve seen shier people do, when their partners/friends take over: they say, “Let me tell this story!” It’s a very literal “I want to say this one!” You can do that, if you want. Say (with a smile), “Wait, let me do it.”

I do think this can be a coordinated effort. You can do your part to engage and find new ways to socialize in a room. You partner can check in every now and then to say, “How is this going?” It might make things 2 percent less fun at first, but then it becomes a new routine. It’s all about working together.

I hope you have lots of social time without your partner – nights away from the relationship, with people you love. That always helps.

– Meredith