Objectively, I shouldn’t. I have a bright career ahead of me in mathematics. Beyond that, I have the means to make a good living and provide for my family, without playing football. I have no desire to try to accumulate $10 million in the bank; I already have more money in my bank account than I know what to do with. I drive a used hatchback Nissan Versa and live on less than $25k a year. It’s not because I’m frugal or trying to save for some big purchase, it’s because the things I love the most in this world (reading math, doing research, playing chess) are very, very inexpensive.
My mother was always supportive of whatever endeavors I wanted to pursue. But this is not the life she wanted for me. I can remember all the way back to when I started playing football in high school. At the end of every season my mother would tell me that I’ve played enough football, that it was okay for me to call it quits. She would tell me that I have such bright things on the horizon, that I don’t need to play. This past fall I finished my 10th season of football, and, as usual, this offseason I had this conversation with my mother for the 10th time.
What my mother and a great majority of my friends, family, and fellow mathematicians don’t understand is that I’m not playing for the money. I’m not playing for some social status associated with being an elite athlete. No, the media has not brainwashed me into thinking this is what real men do.
I play because I love the game. I love hitting people. There’s a rush you get when you go out on the field, lay everything on the line and physically dominate the player across from you. This is a feeling I’m (for lack of a better word) addicted to, and I’m hard-pressed to find anywhere else. My teammates, friends and family can attest to this: When I go too long without physical contact I’m not a pleasant person to be around. This is why, every offseason, I train in kickboxing and wrestling in addition to my lifting, running and position-specific drill work. I’ve fallen in love with the sport of football and the physical contact associated with it.
Simply put, right now, not playing football isn’t an option for me. And for that reason, I truly envy Chris Borland.
