Spoilers for The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives season three follow.
For the first time in three seasons, Taylor Frankie Paul is nowhere near the center of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives drama. While the other members of MomTok try to piece together the truth about Jessi Ngatikaura’s affair with Vanderpump Villa’s Marciano Brunette, Paul absents herself from the fireworks, first by attending a mental-health retreat at the start of the season, then by pursuing a peaceful co-parenting situation with Dakota Mortensen, the father of her youngest son. Things seems to be going well until episode seven, when Paul and Mortensen have sex at Stagecoach and she immediately learns he was maybe, possibly flirty texting with one of her mother’s friends during their breakup.
Ahead of getting the offer. “I was like, ‘Sign me up.’”
I just finished watching season three, which is funny because so much of it is about doing press for season two. Now you’re back doing press for yet another season of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. How are you feeling going into the new publicity cycle?
It is a lot. It’s very fast-paced. But I remind myself that this is not forever and we don’t know how long or short-lived this is gonna be, so just ride the wave and enjoy the moment, even if it’s hard at times.
You start the first episode by working through this idea of “living in the gray” in regards to Mormonism — you appreciate some of the teachings but don’t feel the need to go to church every week. You also discuss how you’re taking your mental health more seriously by attending this retreat. When you got back, you seemed much more even-keeled. You were a voice of reason and bridging gaps — between you and Whitney, for instance — and trying to be a peacemaker in certain situations. Do you feel that change?
I’ve been on both ends of being — what’s Whitney’s word she loves to use? — ostracized from the group. She always feels that way, of being an outsider or the villain. Same thing with Demi. They feel left out. I know the feeling and what comes with it. You’re kicked while you’re down. It’s very dark. I was like, Who am I to judge? If you’re saying sorry and you’re trying to come back, I want to give the same grace I was once given. From being on both ends, I learned how to empathize with people when it’s really lonely.
What would you say was your favorite relationship to be a part of over the course of this season?
Maybe Demi’s. I have yet to see the season, so I don’t know how it looks on the show, but obviously there were a lot of apologies to be had to each other. But it’s different now. Maybe Whitney as well — at that time.
It sounds like those relationships are different now?
Yeah, well, we’ll keep things there.
Last season, you had a conversation with your castmates, saying you felt frustrated because so much of your life was out there while your co-stars weren’t being as open. Then this season, you advised Jordan to keep some things private in his relationship with Jessi. I’m wondering whether your feelings have changed about wanting to “put it all out there.” Are you more protective these days?
Here’s the thing: I want to answer yes. The more private you are, the more protected you are. People can’t come at you for what they don’t know. That’s what I meant with the relationship: Protect that if you can, because I know the price you pay when you open it all up. I know the pain of listening to the world say what you should and shouldn’t do. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter what everyone thinks. It matters what you want and what you have to live with.
I try to explain that to them as well, like, “That is what you live with when you put all of that out there.” But at the same time, it comes with this heavy weight on your shoulders if you are one of the only ones sharing certain things. It’s harder, even in your day-to-day life. That’s something people aren’t talking about: It is very fun and it looks glamorous, but there is a toll it takes on your mental health. And the ones who share know exactly what I’m talking about. But until you’re living it, you really don’t know.
Was there anyone this season who you felt was hiding information or wasn’t sharing enough?
I always think there are people who could share more, for sure, but to each their own. Who am I to say, “Put your business out in the world”? That’s not my call. What I will say is I’m really proud of Jessi. She’s put a lot out to the world, whether it came out of her mouth or someone else’s. She shared a lot of her story, and she still does to this day. Same with Jen. Jen is very open and she also deals with a lot of the overwhelming-ness of that. I’m proud of them. They’re still here to this day, thriving, so good for them.
There was one moment when the entire cast had to act as producers because the cameras were down, and Demi showed up to an event no one knew she would be at. You were all so good at jumping on the moment, and the scene was filmed so professionally. How did you do that? Were you mic’d up?
No, it was all on iPhones, I believe. I wasn’t the one filming it or anything. Obviously, everyone pulls out phones during fights, so it’s not hard to get footage. It is shocking how well that turned out, but also at the same time, it’s not surprising. Everyone had a phone in their hand and heard things and were probably ready. I’m like, How is this happening at a Dresscue event right now? Looking back, it was funny, but not in the moment. I apologized to the owners at the event. I was like, “I’m so sorry that MomTok was arguing here.” It was embarrassing, but a good story to show on TV, right?
I haven’t seen the finale yet, so what can you tell us about how that conversation goes with Demi?
At the time, I thought it went as well as could be expected.
How have things changed since then?
Let’s just say people sometimes fall into patterns.
Which people?
More than one. I don’t want to give anything away because there’s a lot that I don’t know. Obviously, I tell my story, but I’m not there for everyone’s part. But more than one.
You’re about to go film The Bachelorette. How do you feel about your relationship with Dakota going into it?
As time goes, we learn. We’re co-parents; we’re always gonna be involved in each other’s lives. But I don’t have a definitive answer for that right now. Obviously, I’m not in a relationship.
What made you excited to be the Bachelorette?
To get outside my norm, my bubble. Get me out of here, you know? Utah is a little bubble. I wanted to experience people who are not from here or born and raised in the same culture. Also, to really get the dating experience! I’ve never done that. I got married very young, had kids young, and then my first relationship post-marriage was another baby daddy. I have three kids; it’s time-consuming. We all know the same old song and dance of “dating is rough,” and it’s like, I don’t really have that time either. This was a great opportunity I didn’t want to miss.
What were those conversations like with the people at The Bachelorette?
I was sitting there like, Wait, is this for real? Is this serious? Are you sure? I didn’t believe it. Why me, of all people? Then I got the official offer with some roses and I was just like, Wow. This is happening.
Did you do anything to prepare for it — mentally, physically, or emotionally?
Nope. I didn’t. I’m not gonna sugarcoat anything, and if you don’t like me for who I am and where I’m at, there’s the door. The person who is meant for you and loves you is gonna take you where you’re at when it’s meant to be. I’m not too worried about it, and that’s the beauty. Don’t overthink it. Don’t overpractice it. Just go in and be you.